Welcome back to 30 Days of Pride on Ace Of Bens! Today, we have another coming out story in which Sam @ Some Books & Ramblings shares her experiences from realizing she was bisexual to telling her family about it.
I knew I was bisexual on December 24th, 2017. The reason I knew was because at night when you think of things to help you fall asleep, most of my thoughts were of me and a girl in a relationship. I knew I liked boys. So the fact that I wanted to be with a girl as well kinda threw me off. I was in the closet until April 1st, when I was having anxiety and felt that if I didn’t tell someone I was bisexual, I would have a panic attack. It was late at night. I had already taken my medicine which has a sleep aid, so I was tired. But my stomach was upset, and I was anxious. I went to my mom first.
There are some things you should know about my family. My parents are probably some of the most accepting people in the world. My mom works with victims of domestic violence, addiction, abuse, etc; and tells everyone our home is always welcome to those who need it. She will talk friends down from panic attacks, give them resources in the middle of the night, drive to pick them up, and be an ear to listen to. I knew my mom wouldn’t have an issue with me being bisexual. But it’s still scary to tell someone. I also have this thing with my anxiety that once I speak it, it becomes real. That was another piece of the mounting pressure that made it so scary as well. But my mom was completely fine with me and more upset at how upset I was than anything.
Next, I told my dad. He likes to sit on the deck with his music and drink, for hours at a time. I found him out there a little drunk, and I told him. He literally went “Okay. And?” Mom was there, and they both emphasized how much they loved me and that they just want me to be safe and happy in life. But then my mom told me I needed to go tell my sisters.
Here’s a bit more about me: I have a twin sister who is 2 minutes younger than me. She had come out as a lesbian about 2 years prior. I knew this wouldn’t be an issue with her, but as I mentioned before, it’s still scary. I went and talked to her, and she was blindsided. We are the closest people to each other, and her words were “I thought you were the straightest straight to ever straight”. Ah, sisters. Then I went to tell my youngest sister. A little about her: she hates beans with a passion. I found a raw bean my twin and I had been saving to place in random spots, because sisters. I went to her room, and said “How you bean? I’m bisexual.” It went about as well as you’d expect. (Fun fact: she came out as bi a few months later)
I texted my older half-sister who lived across the country, and my best friend, then I called it a night. I came out publicly on Facebook a few months later when I had a friend come out as gender-neutral. They gave me courage.
Hindsight is a funny thing. After I came out, I would remember times when I was young and clearly attracted to girls. Take for instance the time I was in 2nd-3rd grade. The Scholastic book fair had come and gone, and I bought the world record book. I liked to flip through it and see what I recognized. When I came across Kiera Knightly’s picture from when she was in Pirates of The Caribbean, I could not stop staring at her picture. I thought it was natural that girls looked at other girls and thought about how pretty they were for hours at a time. I’m an idiot sometimes.
There was also that time a few weeks before I came out where I binged Hulu’s Runaways series and I remember thinking how much I loved Karolina and Nico. I thought they were gorgeous, and I told my sister so. But she thought I was just trying to appeal to her lesbian side.
I am very fortunate to have a family that is as accepting as they are and who love me for who I am. I never take that for granted. When I can, I try to read more LGBT+ friendly books, watch LGBT + friendly shows and movies, and support queer artists. I just want people to know I am a safe person to talk to, and I can get you resources for anything. My mom even started her own business where she helps people with all the resources I’ve mentioned before and more. She is still getting her feet on the ground but she’s there if you need someone anonymous to talk to or if you need help. If she doesn’t have exactly what you’re looking for, she will do the research and find out.
Hi, my name is Sam, and I am an LGBT+ teen book blogger located in Georgia! I specialize in blog tours, reviews, book tags and more! My favorite genres are fantasy, sci-fi and contemporary fantasy. I hope you have a good day!