Frequently Asked Questions I’m Tired of Hearing as the Sober Friend4 min read

Frequently Asked Questions I'm Tired of Hearing as the Sober Friend

Welcome back! This is your friendly neighborhood sober friend coming at you with a post born out of a recent frustration. I hope this helps some people understand why alcohol (among other drugs) and I don’t mix, and that we need to tone down the alcohol culture by at least seven notches.

Content Warning: This post talks about alcohol, marijuana, prescription medicine (for anxiety and ADHD), OTC medication, vomiting

Why don’t you drink?

Not to be rude, but it’s none of your business. Not in the slightest. But for this FAQ, I guess I’ll give you the Tragic Backstory™ that led me to not drinking that you’re trying to pry out of me:

I made a choice not to drink alcohol. The end.

No, seriously. Why don’t you drink alcohol?

I’m chronically ill with symptoms including chronic nausea and acid reflux. I have an anxiety disorder and not being in full control of my body makes me panic. And I already have enough panic attacks about that because of being chronically ill. I have a fear of throwing up and thinking that I might throw up triggers panic attacks. Every night I take 100mg of an anti-anxiety medication that shouldn’t be mixed with alcohol because it’d make me get drunk faster and not work in the way it’s intended which is entirely counter-productive. My family has a history of alcoholism on both sides. I legitimately see no reason why I would want or need to drink alcohol. Why are people so hellbent on this?

So you’ve never drunk alcohol?

I’ve had a sip here and there because of peer pressure. So if you want to count that, I suppose. But it was all so gross that none of them was even a full sip. How do y’all choose to drink the bitter liquid left over from rotten fruit? I feel like throwing up just thinking about it.

And you never plan to?

Nope. I mean, maybe my impulsivity will give in one day and I’ll get smashed. Who knows? But I have a feeling it’d be because of peer pressure and an impulsive decision to prove I’m not the killjoy friend, not because I have a desire to disorient myself even more than I am on an average day.

Wow / That’s amazing / Good for you / *General comments of surprise and amazement*

Let me emphasize that not drinking alcohol is literally not that impressive. I’m not doing anything remarkable, trendy, or innovative. I usually don’t.

Have you ever considering just starting off slow and experimenting? Drinking’s fun, you just have to find your limit!

But how long will it take to find my limit? How safe will I be? If I’m having fun sober, is it worth it? Nah.

There’s going to be alcohol at this event… are you going to be okay?

Thank you for checking. But let me point out that this is the kind of babysitting I don’t need you to do. I’m fully aware people get drunk at every opportunity, and I’m still trying to figure out my anxiety’s limit. I can take care of myself. You don’t have to infantilize me.

Come on, just one drink. It’ll help you relax. You’ll feel better.

Did you listen to any of my previous answers? Also, that sounds incredibly rape-y, and now I don’t trust you.

Omg, are you aware that gif/joke/reference is talking about alcohol?

I am twenty-one years old, thank you. That is legally old enough to drink alcohol in most countries, and, more importantly, it means that I have been living in a recreational-drug-obsessed society for more than two decades. So, yes, I am fully aware that the gif/joke/reference I just used or made is talking about alcohol. I’m the sober friend, not the sheltered friend.

Do you want some milk? Would that be good for you? I think I have some apple juice in the fridge. I know you don’t drink!

Water is fine. I like hydration.

Okay, but what about marijuana? That works miracles for people with anxiety!

Listen, bro, friend, pal. I’m literally too scared to swallow a pill. All of my prescriptions can be crushed and taken in pudding. I’m terrified to take Ibuprofen because it sometimes for some people has a nasty interaction with one of my medicines. If the amount of anxiety I have over prescription drugs and super common OTC drugs doesn’t explain why I refuse to self-medicate, then I don’t know what to tell you.

A couple of other things worth mentioning: 1) Medical marijuana is not approved for treating GAD where I live; 2) There is a high chance that the THC will cause a panic attack which is what I’m trying to avoid; 3) Yeah, I “just gotta find the right strain” but is it worth it considering the first two points? Probably not.

Wait, so like, are you against people smoking/drinking?

No, I just have strong opinions about myself drinking or smoking, and that opinion is summarized as “No.” So yeah, I just a little aggressive sometimes when talking about drugs and alcohol, but if you were constantly subjected to something triggering, you might react the same way when the subject comes up. I literally just want to carry on without people pressuring me to do something I’m not comfortable with. I just want to have friends that understand.


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One Reply to “Frequently Asked Questions I’m Tired of Hearing as the Sober Friend4 min read

  1. This! I don’t like the taste of alcohol either and really regret that one time when I was peer pressured into taking 2 shots because of peer pressure (and I didn’t even LIKE those people!), after that I stayed away from alcohol ever since since I hated the feeling of not being in control. Urgh, I also don’t understand why people like the taste of alcohol, to me it tastes like cough syrup.

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