Content Warning: mention of alcohol
four walls and a door to keep me company.
mainly i just don’t think i can ever really let someone see…
this part, the dreadful fissuring. i drank one too many, two too many, not many enough. just enough to see with perfect clarity, all the ways that im worthless, the ways im trapped with me. but not enough to take me on a vacation away from me, to the isle of forgetting, the land of nebulous reality. sick and tired sick and tired it’s a mantra in my head, dull it out, swallow the thoughts with rosé, merlot, whiskey, vodka, tequila instead, line my throat with the slick and see if it sticks, than maybe no one will be able to pay a penny for me to have thoughts. id be a blank canvas. id be far off. is be wandering, id be set free, is be endless and ended the way i was meant to be.
they say I have an alcohol problem,
but im not sure i believe them.
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